We were supposed to meet at 09.30 hrs, and as is usual with such an event someone just had to be late....sorry guys!. However my excuses were many and varied.Caught behind a tractor and trailer in the back lanes, forgot to turn the fuel **** on, had a long discussion with self as to which jacket to wear ( and got it wrong!) and waiting to see whether Wheelie got my last minute post and would turn up.(He didn't and didn't)

So, here we were, sans Adam but with the welcome addition of Fred. The intrepid group numbered only four but from a virgin ride leader's point of view this was ideal. The group contained the everpresent Bonny ( she just loves the company of men...good job really otherwise she'd never get a ride.( did I just write that?), the vastly experienced Neil who volunteered as the Tail Gunner,and was thus able to oversee everything that was going on, Fred who adopted the role of 'floater', which meant that when he wasn't keeping us together in the middle he could gently advise me as to mistakes made and about to be made.

The first lane ( on the list of my 'most hated') was innocuous. Maybe it was because there was no-one in front of me? The second lane was a pheasant plucker's wet dream. They were everywhere. Did anyone know that a young **** pheasant can run at 23mph and still look back over his shoulder? This lane , the first section of which I remember as being grassy, was a slippery, rutted mangled mess. Whilst I was trying to get traction and pushing the bike onto the adjoining sward I saw the possible reason coming up behind us....a smallish agricultural vehicle. Second thoughts tell me that it couldn't possibly have been heavy enough to change the surface so much so I guess there's been a fair amount of 'tractoring' going on.

In due course we arrived by road at the top of 201-044 and the other three rode it down, turned at the bottom and rode it up whilst I waited at the top.The reason for this was that I was trying to prevent too much jarring of my elbows, especially the right one, which hurt like blazes when I straighten them.

We worked our way around the Bere Peninsula, stopping for a chat with Gerald the farmer, whose track opens in a fortnight for the final time this year. The weather which had been threatening, and indeed a little wet at times, now appeared to have settled itself into a day of misery so a small diversion was taken which saw me arriving home to change riding jackets and waterproofing my upper body.

Shortly we were dining on Cornwall's finest (pasties) at Pearce's Garage, Drakewalls whilst sheltering under the forecourt canopy. For the record they also sell hot drinks- I hadn't known that.Replete after the repast another lane then saw us on the 'royal' route en- route back into Devon. It was here we saw an ugly dog trying hard to put her spaniel on a lead and scowl at us at the same time. So it is true about women, they can do two things at once.

Back into Devon and working our way towards Tavistock where I'd planned a quick tea break a quick show of hands showed we were all game for more riding but Fred needed to be at our favourite garage (JD's, three of us were on KTM's) before 4.30. It was in this nest of lanes that three of us saw a small owl standing in the lane. Fred was the unlucky one not to see it, but he did see a badger! I cut the tea break and several lanes out and we headed North towards the old A30.

Lane number 201-001 produced a herd of cows, all with their backs turned towards us completely blocking the lane. Bonny now took charge, lined us up on the side of the track thus giving them room to pass us when she had turned them round, and marched into their midst. Fred said 'Christ, where's she gone?', because Bonny is only little and cows are very big and we couldn't see the top of her helmet. The cows, apparently queuing up to stampede through the gate and be first into the dry milking shed completely ignored her, and us, so we about turned and retraced our steps.

Eventually we arrived back at Tavistock, pleasantly surprised that the little shop was still open. Thanks Neil for standing us all a hot drink. WE had a pleasant chat for a few minutes then Neil headed home via Callington and Hatt, Fred and Bonny also headed homewards with the intention of doing a couple more lanes on the way, including 210-044 where the tide should have been favourable, and I went to the garage and once more filled the bike to the brim.

Lousy weather but good company and some good mud to play in. Thanks to all for a memorable day. Bob.

Let me alter 'fuel ****' to 'fuel tap'  and '**** pheasant' to 'male pheasant'. Is the automatic censor now satisfied?