You could hear his piston pound as he raced across the ground,
and the clatter of his chain as his wheels spun 'round and 'round,
as he skidded into Lin Brianne, his number on his chest,
his name was Jeffrey and he rode the fastest Yammy in the West.
Now Jeffrey loved a widow, a lady known as Sue,
she lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22.
We thought she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,
but Jeffrey got his cocoa there three times every week.
We called him Jeffrey (Jeffreeeeee)
and he rode the fastest Yammy in the West.
She said she'd like to bathe in milk, he said, 'All right my dear'
and when he finished work that night he loaded up his car.
He said, 'Do you want it pasturize? 'Cause pasturize is best'
She says, 'Jeffrey, I'll be 'appy if it comes up to my chest'.
That tickled old Jeffrey ( Jefreeeeee)
Now Jeffrey had a rival, an evil looking man,
called Great Big Jim, from Torrington and he drove a VW van.
He tempted her with his Diet Coke and his tasty Chocolate spread
and when she seen the size of his hot meat pie it very near turned her head.
She nearly swooned at his macaroons and he said, 'If you treat me right,
you'll have Pepsi every morning and I'll have crumpets every night'.
He knew once she'd sampled his Chocolate store he'd have his wicked way,
and all Jeffrey had to offer was clean water every day.
Poor Jeffrey, ( Jeffreeeeee)
One lunchtime Jim saw Jeffrey's Yam parked up outside her door,
it drove him mad to find that it was still there at half past four.
As he leaped down from his van, hot blood through his veins did fire
and he went across to Jeffrey's Yam and didn't half kick his tyre!
Now Jeff was only 52, he didn't wanna die,
but now he's gone to ride his Yam round that Forest in the sky,
where the riders are all Angels and punctures are all banned
and the waterman's life is full of fun in that lovely
Forested Land.
We won't forget Jeffrey (Jeffreeeeee)
who rode the fastest Yammy in the West.
