Hi Fixer,

And of course all you wonderful (ahem) two wheeled conoisseurs of mud and dirt.
I've been lurking for a couple days but thought i'd put in for forum membership yesterday. Fortunately Fixer allowed me in. Fool!
I'll post a few piccies for now coz i'm only half way through the trip description from last weekend. All i can say ,it was 250 miles without seeing tarmac on a mechanized warthog that spat me off once in a large puddle/pond/mudbath. Me and me mate Dave camped out for 2 nights in the middle of nowhere armed with a hip flask of scotch and 85 pounds of camping gear and food. Does anyone recognize the area from the photos?





As a clue go on to google earth and type in 50.42.21north by 115.53.59west. This was my starting point.
Ok Fixer, you can rip the piss out of me now!

I notice Dave's bike is on it's centrestand... forgot to bring a trolley jack so you could use your centrestand?

The sidestand is bent due to some extra weight it had to endure this summer on the way to Calgary!

It's a sweet bike ............like a chewed up toffee.

The trolley jack fits in the Happy trail panniers by the way. good job some fat git bent the arm for me!

 

Hi Folks,

Maybe someday I'll get the chance to meet you all and go for
a ride. In the meantime, here's a trip description from Canada.

 

Part 1.

It was borne from a phone call to my mate Dave. All I said
was pack your gear, were going out for 2 nights on the dirt out of mobile
range and all I have is a bicycle pump.

I'd spent the few nights previously googling a route from
Radium in British Columbia to Fernie (east)
across the Rocky Mountains. Dave was all over
it like a fat kid on a smartie. Fuel was possibly going to be an issue because
Daves GS1150 only has a range of 200 miles (although Fixer borrowed the same bike
and squeezed 250 out of it earlier in the summer.stingy git). My bike has a 33
litre tank so no worries there.

The real starting point was my home town of Canmore Alberta where we would ride west through Banff
and onto highway 93 (hope youve all got google earth running by now) west to
Radium hot springsBritish Columbia. This part of the trip
whilst being a stunning ride through the Rockies
is paved. Now, youve got to know Dave a bit here. Hes a runner and a mountain
guide. A 58 year old .racing snake Im also a mountain guide but I eat lardy
foods and cake (yes I read the cake part of the forum too).

So, to stop off at macdonalds and get him to eat something
that could have been manufactured by ICI was a major effort.i told him he
needed the body fat.

Any way, once in Radium we fuelled up for the last time
until Fernie. Dave had bungeed a fuel can on his back seat to boot. From Radium
we backtracked north to the junction of Settlers road and highway 93. This
road was the start of all the logging roads we would take from now on; heavily
graveled and on heavy bikes we set out. No bears yet thank god. A few miles
down the road I watched intently in the mirror as Dave was weaving around the
gravel patches like hed been drinking all morning. A wry smile crossed my lips
as I imagined him dumping the front heavy machine nose first into the gravel
and his gas can rupturing. All I needed was an excuse to evict him from the
tent that evening due to him smelling of petrol. He snores so badly hed scare
the bears off anyway.

South on settlers road we rumbled, at the blistering speed
of 40mph. nothing but pine trees darting by. The roads getting better at this
point and we can see hard packed base. Then we came to our first junction just
after crossing a wonderful river bridge. We needed to continue south on the
Palliser river trail but over shot this turn off by 7 miles. Surely it wasnt
that goat track back there was it? 
Daves GPS came out and we discovered wed brought along an expensive
paperweight. Ok, lets turn back and try the goat track This was the the
Palliser river road alright but it was a bastard to ride for the first 15
miles. Basically someone had just taken one of those tree cutting/road
making/earth churning thingies up there a few hours earlier and we were now
dealing with tree stumps, axle deep powdered dirt and bits of freshly
splintered tree as thick as my leg. How we stayed upright I have no idea. This
road got thinner but better as we progressed. Until the puddle.

Three quarters the way down the road I found a fairly large
body of water/mud across our path. Normally this would not pose a problem but
for the fact that there was no way around and I could not see the bottom. Pick
a line I thought , any line. It was a guess as to the outcome. On the other
side was a small 2 foot berm rising out of the water. Aim for that and Ill be
ok. Yeah right. All was going well until the front wheel hit something big down
under. A myriad of thoughts ranging from if I drop this can I dead lift 250Kg
out of the water? to I hope BMW global assistance have a sense of humour!

The front wheel eased over the obstacle and I gave it a bit
of gas. The 2 foot bank was now a five footer and slicker than snot. A bit more
grunt and.up the bank she goes, the rear wheel now spinning. Spinning was an
understatement. At this point high siding a 1200 gs adventure is not something
to be taken lightly.

It was about to happen though. Off the throttle and slowly
lay the Warthog down on the left hand side. I slid off gracefully in the dry,
the panniers taking all the beating. 
Dave was pissing himself. He mumbled something about a robot hippo
clawing its way from the river before he noticed all the sinews and veins in my
neck were on red alert. Yes I was picking the hippo up. God theyre heavy when
theyre loaded. No damage though except putting the mirrors straight and me
gasping like Darth Vader. The ride to Whiteswan lake was uneventful and we
pulled into a small campground there (google earth again folks) 50 08 40.15 n
by 115 27 29.34 w.

After a spectacular thunderstorm we settled in to supper,
Dave took the piss a few more times, we checked and fettled the bikes; we fell
asleep by 8:30 pm. As predicted, Dave kept the bears away all night

 

125 miles from nowhere and Dave gets out the expensive paperweight.

Dave having a tot at the end of the first day. damn that was good.



Dave struggling to set up camp on the first day while i barked out orders.



The wrong turn episode.



This bridge isn't on the map!




-- Edited by Fixer at 09:45, 2008-09-21

Thanks Fixer,

The report'll have to be in 3 parts. I'll try to get part 2 in pretty soon. Dave says "Hi" by the way. He's also looking to get a new bike but i think i may have convinced him to keep the 1150 and bolt on lots of extras. By the time we're done, it should look like something the Fleet Air Arm used to fly at the startof WW11.
If the weather holds out we'll try for another trip before the snow comes.

Allright......

Nobody is commenting on the trip/bike/idiot that wrote this article.
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Fixer's little Bruv.
Same sense of humour. We're both Goldwing fans (Get out of that one Fixer).
Not quite the same "build" or hair challenged but give me a few years as i'm working on it.
Feel free to take the Mickey.
I'm hoping to get back to Devon in the spring. A ride with you lads would be 1st on the cards. Anyone out there have a large overweight Warthog of a machine i could borrow? I wonder if a Canadian driver's licence will be adequate for the insurance? My English one is still has 3 points on it from 15 years ago.
I'll bring the Maple Syrup and ride in a lumberjack shirt.

The ball's in your court,

EEJIT